"I'm t-t-trying as hard as I c-c-c-can," Tanya stammered tearfully. "I just c-c-c-can't s-s-say it right."

Mrs. Bradford, the speech therapist, knew only too well how hard Tanya tried. Two years of twice weekly sessions had resulted in no improvement. None of the techniques - relaxation, deep breathing, small groups, structured practice on individual sounds, singing - none had diminished Tanya's dysfluency (commonly called stuttering.) Her steadily increasing anxiety about it just made matters worse.

"Let's stop for today, Tanya."

Pure relief spread across the little girl's face. She managed a quick, "G-g-good-bye," before skipping back to class.

In search of another point of view about Tanya's lack of progress, Mrs. Bradford sought out the school psychologist with whom she had successfully collaborated in the past. They met over lunch and mapped out a new strategy which Tanya's parents readily agreed was worth a try.

Liza, one of Tanya's classmates who was confined to a wheelchair, saw the psychologist for weekly counseling. Every other week Liza invited a friend to join her for a counseling activity, usually a therapeutic board game. The word was out that the games were fun, so Liza's friends all wanted turns to see the psychologist, too. Tanya was no exception.

When her turn came, Tanya wheeled Liza into the psychologist's office, where Liza's assistant helped her onto the floor to play the "Talking, Feeling, Doing" game. Each player spins a numbered wheel, moves that number of spaces on the board, takes a card from one of three stacks, and responds to its message.

One of the cards Liza selected asked her to make a wish.

"I wish I could run and play like all the other kids can," she said wistfully.

A look of surprise and sympathy came over Tanya's face. "I wish you could, too, Liza," she said without a hitch. Tanya was so touched by the enormity of Liza's disability relative to her own, that she completely forgot to worry about how she sounded. "I wish you could, too," she repeated.

Tanya's dysfluency persisted but also steadily diminished after that, in direct proportion to her patience with herself. Liza's disarming wish had changed Tanya's perspective. She no longer perceived speech therapy as an embarrassment to be avoided. And Liza was the first friend she invited to join in.

Hints to parents about speech and language development:

For children under the age of two, watch for signs of hearing loss or lack of verbal comprehension. Encourage babbling, vocalization and socialization.

If your child speaks no meaningful words by age two to two-and-a-half, seek an evaluation from a qualified speech/language pathologist.

Boys, on average, learn to talk later than girls.

Expand on your child's utterances. For example, if he says, "We go," you might say, "Yes, we're going to the store now." Use gestures and inflection to add meaning.

Age of language acquisition does not predict academic success. Late talkers can be as successful in school as early talkers.

Encourage siblings to wait and listen rather than talk for their younger brothers or sisters.

Author's note: The causes of dysfluency (stuttering) can be both physiological as well as psychological. Consult personally with your child's pediatrician or other qualified professional if you have concerns about any aspect of your child's development.