Knowledge of student needs, information about possible interventions in the schools as well as in the community, plus commitment and perseverance, almost invariably lead parents and teachers to successful educational interventions for students who are struggling academically. Sometimes parents and school staff collaborate successfully, and sometimes they don't. Either way, a parent's persistence and thoughtful involvement is often the key, in the long run, to turning negative learning patterns around. The following letters from parents emphasize this point.

Dear Beth:

I read the recent letter sent to you from a frustrated parent of a middle school student with learning differences. My son had a similar experience in his middle school years at a public school. I found that the school was not really equipped to give my son the proper attention he required to succeed. To give him the attention he needed would have required the school to commit more time, effort and consequently money. They were not prepared to do what was necessary and at the Planning and Placement Teams (PPTs) they insisted that he was making progress.

My wife and I could not see the progress. So we had him privately tested and, unfortunately, the testing proved that the school was misleading us to avoid providing him with the proper support. My son finally asked to be taken out the school as his self-esteem was diminishing. I caution the mother who wrote to you that once her child's self-esteem is lost all is lost. This leads to the student becoming more of a problem child in class to cover up for his inability to keep up with his classmates.

I placed my son in a private school where he is getting the proper support. The public school was required to provide partial assistance for this cost.

I know most parents are concerned about the cost of a college education. But if your child with LD (Learning Differences, I call it, not Disabilities) loses his or her self-esteem he or she will never make it to college or succeed in college. Some parents might need to consider transferring their child out of the public school system if proper learning support isn't provided. My son is doing great in school now and is looking forward to attending college.

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I have only now gotten a specialized reading program for my son at the end of his 9th grade year. He has a Learning Disability (LD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Part of the problem is that special education teachers, like me, are trained to be good generalists in our field. We can generally identify if a child has a problem, but we are not trained or encouraged to learn how to diagnose more intently or accurately. We are given the basics of what we need to know in order to teach. For most kids, this is probably enough. (There are so many good teachers out there!) However, what we as teachers and parents don't know, can hurt our children.

The money also comes into play, regardless of the affluence of a community.

Then there is opinion. I agree that parents know their children the most intimately and perhaps that translates to best. However, a good teacher also knows each child well, and we need to work together as a team. Any team process is hard without mutual respect. This is where I sometimes see that Administration gets in the way. I wonder if it isn't a matter of a need to control the situation rather than let the people who know the child the most, work together to create a plan.

Next: Who is an expert? What is an expert? Schools tell us their staff are the experts and they don't need anyone else. Either schools usually don't want to spend the money or, perhaps it is that in doing so, they fear the perception of losing their position as the "educational authority," so a real expert isn't brought in.

Who suffers? Our children.

Then there is the pure fatigue of the struggle and fight. No parent should have to fight to get an appropriate education for their child. Schools do not do an even adequate job of telling parents what their rights are. If parents have the knowledge and tenacity, they are better off, but even then, I strongly recommend having a parent mentor from the Learning Disabilities Association in Hartford. Even with all of my knowledge and strong personality, I found my parent assistor an incredibly valuable asset.

I asked the school if they want to pay now or do they want my child to pay for the rest of his life? I have asked if they were going to be proud that they would allow a student to graduate as a functional illiterate because he has a learning disability and they don't know how or what to find out to teach him and others like him. (They had no goals for reading, writing, spelling or math).

My son is now getting the specialized reading program he needs. It is research based and proven. It is being provided by a specialist hired from outside the school. They also offered him a special math tutor to held him master his skills and learn better ones. Not just coping techniques. This accomplishment took many months, lots of work, lots of writing and documenting. Yes I did lose some sleep. I am proud of my son for sticking up for himself and working with me to understand what he needs and fighting for it.

No parent should give up. The information and educational techniques are out there. They need to be identified and planned for. It can be done! Teachers and schools do care. Parents and schools need to work together better, to assure that our children get what they need.

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Please send questions or comments to bbruno@snet.net.